Too Good For Lines? Yeah, Me Too.

Grocery shopping is not the sort of activity I look forward to. It’s the lines. I despise waiting in line. In fact, just the other day I was craving a deli style sandwich. Sinking my teeth into a black forest ham sammy in much the same way a shark chomps down on an unexpecting surfer is something I had been looking forward to for about three days. Entering any eatery ten minutes before noon is just a bad idea. All those drones on lunch breaks, ya know? I knew better, but thought I’d give it a try regardless. As expected the line was about eight people deep. Sorry, Subway. You’re not getting my business today. High Street Deli, what I consider to be the best sandwich place in the town, hands down, was even worse. I gave up and opted to eat some microwavable vomit food that I had waiting for me at work. Back to the grocery shopping. I have developed a habit of getting my shopping done late at night to avoid the hecticness (yes, I just invented a new word) that goes with shopping in the middle of the day. The local Vons closes around 1am, so I try to get there in the 12am hour. It’s pretty awesome. The aisles are covered in boxes and pallets take up the entire back row of the store. The nightshift workers are doing their thing. It stirs up a bit of nostalgia as I reminisce about my late nights in Pavillions doing the very same thing. I have also developed the habit of only allowing myself to buy what I can carry. No cart. No carry basket. No oilcloth bag that seems to be all the rage these days. Since I’ve picked up this behavior it’s really cut down on the amount of food that goes bad in my house. In fact, food rarely goes bad. When my food does grow moldy it’s only because I was on some crazy health kick in which I buy a 5 pound bag of carrots. “Wow! I can just eat these as a snack instead of the Chewy Chips Ahoy I’ve been addicted to for the past three months!” Yeah, those carrots, those poor poor carrots. They never stood a chance.

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