We have an ongoing problem in our house. It’s the keys. This morning, like many times throughout the day, James could not find his keys.
“Oh! I know…Elliott must’ve taken them.”
Me: “Yes, he probably ate them. I’ll check his diaper later.”
James pretended to look for his keys for another 12 seconds then walked out of the room.
Evy: “That would hurt to poop keys.”
“That depends on the size of the key,” I responded.
She rephrased it. “It would hurt to poop his set of keys.”
“Yes, it would.” I agreed.
“Rachae-hole wouldn’t like that,” she said.

A little backstory is needed here. Evy likes puns. She couldn’t define “pun”, but that’s ok. One day I overheard the kids talking and laughing about Rachael. We don’t know anybody named Rachael, so I had to investigate. Oh yeah, another thing about Evy is she likes to name things. Turns out she had named her butthole “Rachael”. I have no idea how she decided on that name for that particular body part. A punster myself, I fused the two words together, laughed out loud, and said, “So, you named your butthole Rachae-hole?” which the kids thought was hilarious.

What has parenting taught me today?
I learned that Rachae-hole wouldn’t like to poop out a set of keys. This happened before noon. If I’m lucky I might learn something else before the day ends.