Remember in The Matrix when they needed to learn something…like Kung Fu or how to fly a helicopter or how to scramble an egg or how to properly skydive without a parachute like Johnny Utah in Point Break? I want that! It would totally be worth having that weird plug in the back of your head. We all think it’s pretty amazing that this whole internet craze has given us the power to access knowledge at our fingertips, but I think the real power will come when we can plug a machine right into our brain. If this technology existed I would sign up faster than it takes Patrick Swayze to rip your throat out. Yeah, that fast.

Why would I sign up for this? For one, it would be totally awesome. Second, I’ve attempted to learn Adobe Illustrator several times over the past…oh, 12 years. Every time I need to do something with Illustrator I have to reteach myself the one thing I need to do. Then I do it. Then I forget it by the next time I need to use it. It’s like that old saying about learning a foreign language, “If you don’t use it, you’re retarded.” Now I’m trying to learn Adobe Premiere Pro.

Needless to say, I’m lost in this foreign landscape.

I wonder if I can find a Matrix head-plug-in-thingy-to-learn-effortlessly thingy on ebay. Or perhaps there is a back alley surgeon willing to install this into my brain?