This happened a couple of nights ago. I understand that this is a “Things I Love THURSDAY” post, but it’s taken a couple of days of reflection to fully appreciate that I am still alive. As you know, I am a big fan of the Automated Postal Center because it works nice with my schedule, which basically means being productive at night after all the kids have gone to bed. Before I made the trek to the post office I sent Coral a “goodbye, I’ll be home soon” text.
She never responded because she fell asleep on the couch. And she’s lucky because imagine how bad she would have felt if a mustached man did stab me in the face. The really sad part though would be that my death would have totally been in vain because I didn’t even accomplish what I left the house to do, thanks to the dumb machine at the post office.
Yeah, I would try later, except for I got stabbed in the face, jerk!
I wonder if my mustached murderer would have stolen the package I was trying to mail. How long would my customer have waited before sending me a “Where’s my package, asshole” email? Also, I wonder if Coral would eventually find the email and write the customer back saying something like, “I apologize for the inconvenience of your package not arriving in a timely manner. Because of your order Jeff was stabbed in the face by a mustached man while trying to ship your package using the super convenient Automated Postal Center, that happens to double as a death trap as well as a great way to mail things after hours. We will return your money never because burial costs are crazy expensive and it’s partially your fault we had to bury the guy anyway. Thank you.”