Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Elliott rockin’ the fierce nap time bedhead while checking out the enormous amount of hay his grandparents have.

Dear Coral,

I probably should have made this last year. You know, since Elliott is almost 2, but I procrastinate sometimes. Anyway…

Thank you for being such a great mama to our kids.
Even though they make us crazy.

Happy Mother’s Day! from jeff claassen on Vimeo.

I love you!

Coral put Elliott down for his daily 11am nap and this is what happened?

I guess he only naps when he wants to now?
I really hope not. This kid is a like a Rambo Spiderman.

The end.

Of naps.

- Jeff

The boy and I let mama sleep in this morning. She’s had a long busy week and deserves to stay in bed until 10am. So, how do two dudes spend their time together. Cuddling on the couch, duh! Oh, I should mention, we have an ultrasound picture of Elliott doing that hand on his cheek thing. It’s his signature move.

There was also a lot of eating and throwing hot wheels across the room. And one of us had a N A S T Y S T I N K Y diaper. I won’t say who, but I will say that every diaper seems more disgusting than the previous. Not sure how that is possible, but it is.

- Jeff

The other day with Evy, who happens to be 11 years old.

“Evy, check that out. There’s a hobo talking to a parking meter.”
“That’s nice,” she said. “I like when hobo’s have friends to talk to.”

This girl cracks me up.

This is what Coral surprises me with while I’m working. Apple sausage, Joe’s O’s and a delicious cob of corn. You know what they say, the quickest way to win a man’s heart is through his stomach. Actually, I don’t know if “they” say that, but they totally should.

Of course, the first day in about a month that Elliott doesn’t wake me up I get this:

Thanks, Asshole.

That’s family for you. In a way I have to be happy about this though, because when I was a kid Isaac would wake me up by pulling on my toes or sticking something in my ear. An annoying text message is actually an improvement.

His thing is huge. I mean, this thing is huge…the statue.

James was with me when I pulled off the road to take this picture and when I drove away I could tell he did not understand the humor behind taking a picture of “Big Johnson’s” Store. So, like a good father, I explained, “Johnson is another name for penis”. To which he replied, “Why did they start that.” I said I didn’t know, but that it was sort of an old-timey name for it.

Then we drove to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and he built a fort.

We’ve been to the pool twice already. The kiddie pool is sweet because it’s beach style, meaning you just walk right in. Elliott loves it. Coral loves it too. So much so that she never left it. Even Elliott ventured into the big kid pool. Hell, the little thrill seeker even rode down the water slide with me.

Damn, I didn’t get any pictures of James or Evy at the pool. I had one of Evy attempting a dive off the diving board, but my timing was off and it looked more like she was standing on the edge of the board leaning over as if to contemplate jumping or heading back to the ladder.

Good times!

My mom set up a Facebook group for our family because there are a lot of us and it’s way easier to post “Hey, it’s so-and-so’s birthday next week. Come by at 3.” as opposed to making a dozen or more phone calls to everybody. Well, we had one such event a couple of weekends ago, my grandmother’s 91st birthday. Yes, you heard that right. She is 91 years old. That means she was alive before the first TV remote control.

You might be thinking, “Send invitations, like in the olden days. If you don’t know what an invitation is just ask your grandmother about them.” To which I’d reply, no. The group isn’t just to announce parties. With this many people (16 adults and 8 children) somebody is bound to leave something behind, which is exactly why my mom’s most recent post was about a pair of forgotten sunglasses. And who sends invites to announce a lost pair of glasses? Exactly.

Oh yeah, for this to make sense, you have to know that we all call my grandmother “Nanny”, which I am almost certain was something she came up with to sound less old.
Grandma = Wrinkly Old Lady
Nanny = Scarlett Johansson

So, my mom posted something on our family group about finding a pair of sunglasses and also mentioned that Nanny had been to the doctor, which resulted in the following comments. Please take notice of the time when I joined in.

It’s been two days and Aaron still hasn’t responded. Aaron, if you’re out there…

There seems to be a very distinct difference in the outcome of what is brought into the house after a quick run to the grocery store.

What Coral comes home with.

What I come home with.

Another obvious reason why we need each other…
because we balance each other out.