Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Somebody Loves Wheat Thins

At what point does “reduced fat” just become normal amount of fat? Do you know what I mean? It has to balance out at some point. For example, could the person in line in front of me be better off just getting one or two boxes of regular fat Wheat Thins. Would two boxes of the regular be the same as eating five of the reduced fat? Anyway, I don’t normally take photos of other peoples groceries, but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. The ONLY thing they were buying was Wheat Thins. Ten boxes of Wheat Thins. My first thought was “eccentric millionaire”, which would also explain the sweatpants. I didn’t have it in me to photograph the Wheat Thins hoarder. I might be creepy, but even I draw the line somewhere. Just trust me when I say eccentric millionaire is the only thing that would make sense of their grocery store garb.

Naturally, the only other thing that would make sense of the outfit and Wheat Thin obsession is “crazy person.” Now, I’ve got to be honest with you. My knee jerk reaction was crazy person. As I was walking back to my car after my own purchase of one single solitary watermelon (Jeff Claassen, eccentric millionaire at your service) I had a realization. The Wheat Thin addict was not an eccentric millionaire, despite her sweatpants and the odd way she had to lay out all of her bills in order of denomination. As for being crazy, I realized she was probably just a normal lady and only suffered from being temporarily crazy. And this is why. Her normal state of being a rational person got manipulated by the power of grocery store marketing. I am almost certain the store was running one of their insane deals where you have to by five (or ten) of a product to save “big”. Sometimes “big” ends up being something like 25 cents off per box, but you have to buy ten boxes. Your caveman brain thinks $2 off is a bargain and it overpowers the rational thinking part of your brain that knows you do not need ten boxes of Wheat Thins. But here’s the thing. By the time your rational thinking kicks in you’ve already lost because you’ve already decided to buy the ten boxes. Now you rationalize the ten box purchase because you know that eventually, in time, you will go through ten boxes of Wheat Thins. Even if it takes you a year (or more) to do so it’s worth the bulk purchase to save $2.

At the end of the day the store wins and you got duped into spending more money. And you don’t even care because you got a “deal”. You might even think that you really stuck it to the man by taking advantage of the sale. To add insult to injury, if you think about, you actually double lose because now you’re going to eat more just because you have more. I can’t tell you the number of times I would have been totally satisfied with one Kit-Kat, but I got the two for 99 cents deal (or whatever it is). Then I eat one on the car ride home and eat the second one later that night. If I did not have that second one tempting me with its chocolaty crunchiness I would never go back to the store to buy a second one. It wouldn’t even cross my mind that I want another Kit-Kat because that would be crazy and I’m not a crazy person.

The sad truth is, like the Wheat Thin lady, I’m just a sucker from time to time.

Well, that’s sort of a sad and boring way to end this. You know what? I love Kit-Kats. And my new crazy friend loves Wheat Thins. So, fuck you, grocery store! We’re the winners!

Happy grocery shopping!
– Jeff

P.S. – On the real, this is a fascinating topic and I’d love to dig deeper into it, but I’m not Malcolm Gladwell. I have no time to interview people or do any research. I’m just winging it here. Writing one post a day has been fun and it’s a great reminder that things don’t have to be perfect. If you haven’t watched that Jack Conte video yet, please do yourself a favor and check it out.

* * * * * * *
Was this enough or would you like more random musings? If so, check out these posts from back in the day:
Dear, Hollywood. Remake The Goonies
Kim Carnes Is Rod Stewart With A Vagina

Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy Or Something Like That

The other night I found this awesome drawing of one of my owls on Instagram. Yeah, so I searched for myself on IG…let’s not make a big deal out of it.

As soon as I saw this I instantly knew that I had to draw my own version of it. Which means I wanted to draw my version of Kennedy’s version of me. Does that makes sense? I think it does. At least it makes sense at night when the sleep delirium kicks in.

I’m calling him “Donut Owl” because my brain is too mushy to think of a better title. He’s 5″ x7″ and is the first drawing I’ve made using a brush pen. I’ve been curious about these brush pens for years. A friend of mine showed one to me and within less than a minute I decided it wasn’t my cup of tea. I was already too deeply in love with the combination of paint brushes and jars of india ink to let a dumb brush pen steal my heart. Who needs that love triangle? Not me! Fast forward to present day when I have a 3 year old and it’s a totally different story. Sometimes I have to work in spurts because of all the distractions like getting cups of juice, making sandwiches, wiping his butt and searching the house for a missing Lightning Mcqueen car. Not to mention all the “Dad, watch!” and “Dad, come here” things that consist of him pointing at the dog, showing me a booger, having me kiss an owie and so many other mundane things my head is starting to spin just thinking about it. It’s taken me over 30 minutes to write this paragraph because of similar things. A minute ago Elliott asked me to watch him as he put a laundry basket over his body transforming himself into a turtle.

Boogie noses and makeshift turtles aside…
If you are interested in Donut Owl he’s $25 and available in my shop. Also, if you ever come across any Claassen inspired art let me know. It would fun to have a series of these.

Thanks for looking!
– Jeff

Real Fucking Funny, Asshole. And A Public Service Announcement For Paso Robles Residents.

Ok, look. I love an April Fool’s prank as much as the next guy. BUT, didn’t you do enough damage when you broke into our car on Valentine’s Day*?


(just 6 weeks ago)
Seriously? What the fuck is going on here?

When the kids and I walked outside yesterday morning a pile of glass that used to be our window is what was waiting for us. Obviously, we were (and still are) super pissed off and totally bummed out. Not a good April Fool’s prank in my book. But the real joke is on our 3 year old because check out his seat.

There is nothing like sitting on a pile of glass the next time you want to pick up a tub of Dunkers from Trader Joe’s. The thief must have seen the carseat through the window and thought, “Oh, a family with a baby. They are going to LOVE this.”

Hopefully, this fingerprinting will get some results. When the officer came by to write up a report it was 9:30am and she told us we were the sixth house she had been to already for car break ins. It’s safe to say she had more on her list to go to after us. I should mention that our neighbors had two cars broken into as well, but nothing was taken so they were not included in the six victims that the police had told me about. Two of the victims had laptops stolen.

There is a car break in spree going on in Paso Robles! Be safe.

Do not leave anything valuable in your car at all. AT ALL. The only thing that was taken from our car was a small make up bag, which was on the floor behind the driver’s seat. We didn’t even realize it was there. Nothing is sacred. Perhaps the burglar thought it was a wallet or purse full of money. Who knows, but whatever the reason it was worth the risk of getting caught to find out. I was out with a friend and came home at 1:45am. Then I was up until 3:30am and I’d like to think I would hear glass breaking right outside, but I didn’t hear anything. Being that we were just one of several victims on April 1, I’m guessing the break ins are happening between 2:30-4:00am.

This home surveillance video was taken just one week ago in Paso Robles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb0eUeZRkk4

Read the accompanying article at: http://pasoroblesdailynews.com/video-police-seek-help-in-identifying-theft-suspect/33333/.

Please please please spread the word. Share this post or the news article post with everybody. We live in a nice place and it’s very sad that these self-entitled consciousless people are disrupting our well being.

Copy/paste either of these url’s on your facebook status, twitter, etc.
News article: http://pasoroblesdailynews.com/video-police-seek-help-in-identifying-theft-suspect/33333/
This blog post: http://jeffclaassen.com/blog/2015/04/real-fucking-funny-asshole-and-a-public-service-announcement-for-paso-robles-residents

I understand that we shouldn’t leave valuables in our cars, but why not. It’s our car parked on our private property. We should totally be able to leave whatever we want in our cars without a worry. But we can’t because some people out there are assholes.

*Valentine’s Day: I never mentioned the break in on here because it was so upsetting. In fact, I haven’t even blogged at all because of it, but to sum it up. We took a family trip to SF and literally at our last stop before heading home our car was broken into. Two windows were smashed to oblivion. ALL of our luggage was stolen, which was about $10k worth of property. Glass was everywhere. The robbers blood was smeared on one of the seats. After going to the police we finally left the city at 11pm and had to drive 3.5 hours with two broken windows and three kids.

PS. Don’t get me wrong. I understand perspective. A broken car window is nothing compared to a suicidal maniac crashing a plane with 150 people on it into the side of a mountain. The thing is, help where you can. Help your community. Doing good wherever you are only adds to a positive collective consciousness.

Haven’t Put A Comb Through My Hair In Years, But I Did Yesterday And…

Happy 4th Of July, Everybody!

There is a lot of Jimi Hendrix posts today with his famous rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, so I’m not posting that. Instead, I’m posting somebody from my generation from a band that I was SUPER into as a youngster. Yes, I’m talking about Slash from Guns N’ Roses. Check it!

And have a fun, safe and awesome 4th!

See ya!
– Jeff

Who Falls For This Shit

20130622-031333.jpg

Support Local: Wheelbarrow Succulents By Fluid Bloom

succulent wheelbarrow

Saw this super sweet “Succulent Wheelbarrow” at Sal’s Paradise this morning. It looked like the work of Fluid Bloom and a quick text message to the owner confirmed that it was. I think it’s awesome that a flower shop can have a recognizable signature style.

With Mother’s Day (May 12) right around the corner I highly suggest checking out Fluid Bloom. They’re in downtown SLO on the corner of Chorro and Pismo and can be reached at 805.784.0415.

Support local!

– Jeff

Kaossilator Beat For My Kickstarter Project

korg stuff

This is a little beat I came up with on the Kaossilator 2 for my Kickstarter project, The Puzzle Painting. For the actual video I added a couple of silly sound effects that were also made with the Kaossilator 2.

I’m no musician, but I love these Korg products because they let me pretend to be one.

Also, “Kickstarter Beat” is free for your personal use under Creative Commons License. That means I allow you to download it for non-commercial use as long as you give me credit by linking to my site, www.jeffclaassen.com. I would be stoked to hear some of you use this with your own work…sing a song over it, tweak it a bit, mash it up and have fun with it. Oh yeah, and send me a link to it so I can check it out.

Thanks!
– Jeff

In Case You Missed Me

learning adobe premiere

Hello Everybody!

In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been you need not worry. I am alive. And my eyeballs are bleeding, but that’s only because I’ve been glued to the computer screen and the iPad screen. At the same time. I am finally learning how to use Adobe Premiere for editing videos. Learning this has been something I’ve wanted to do for awhile, but I was finally encouraged to take the leap once my friend, Brian, told me about lynda.com. If you don’t know about Lynda I highly suggest taking a look at it. It is basically a site with 100’s of courses you can take to learn all sorts of things from 3D animation to photography to web design and a plethora of other things. They have a free 7 day trail that I’m taking advantage of right now, but I would totally pay for the service. After all, knowledge is great. I’ve taught myself Photoshop and Dreamweaver through a book, but that’s nothing at all compared to watching training videos. The videos are way better. Also, Lynda has a great app, so if you have an iPad you can watch the video on that while running the program on your computer, which is working out great for me since I have a laptop and not one of those 300″ computer monitors. Anyway, the course I’m going through is comprised of about 7 hours of videos, but they take me a little longer to get through because I’m doing every step on my computer as I watch and I have to rewind a lot to catch all the steps. It’s a lot of information to learn in a short period of time, but the program is a lot less like a foreign language to me now.

So, that’s where I’ve been.
I’ll be back soon.

– Jeff

This Hot Cocoa Is Way Better Than That Crap I’ve Been Drinking At Starbucks: An Evening At The Raven Cafe In Prescott

the hot cocoa here is way better than that crap i've been drinking at starbucks.

Coral and I just ate dinner at The Raven Cafe. We ate upstairs and outside and watched the sun go down. The grandparents have the kids and have given us the opportunity to have a date night while we’re here in Prescott. I guess the “date” part is over because we’ve moved inside, grabbed our computers from the car, ordered hot cocoa’s and I’m typing this post as Coral edits photos. We’re also sharing a blueberry mousse. Actually, I haven’t had a bite of it yet. Coral may or may not be hogging it. You be the judge. Ok, I just had a bite and Coral can have the rest of it. Anyway…

This place is awesome. Great food. Great drinks. Free wifi. If you ever find yourself in Prescott I suggest you put The Raven Cafe on your “places to check out” list.

Oh, they also play great music. What music you ask? Well, they’re playing Arcade Fire right now, which means I don’t even have to put on my headphones to rock my favorite Pandora station.

See ya!
– Jeff

Stoked To See Justin Beiber Has A New Book Out

looks like justin beiber came out with a new book. oh wait...

The Scared is Scared

This is awesome.

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