As you can see, I am OBSESSED with fashion and looking good. This is quite a change up since my last fashion post, but I think it’s social suicide to pigeon hole yourself into one look.
The American Apparel fleece hoodie is essential. The secret to a fashionable hoodie is, and a lot of people don’t know this, never wash it. Seriously. It gets more comfy and looks cooler every time you wear it. If you wash it you might as well toss it.
Dark sunglasses are great too. Not so much because they’re hot and make you look mysterious, but because when you’re fake smiling during mundane conversations with people you despise they won’t see you rolling your eyes at their idiotic annoying statements. Another thing, never pay under $300 for glasses. If you do, we can’t be friends anymore.
Every outfit you decide to show off in public should make a statement. Afterall, the world is your stage and you must constantly perform. Duh! The statement I’m making here is “Look at all the shit I can hang off my body!” If you couldn’t see that already then you have a thing or two (or three thousand) to learn about fashion. Go back to FIDM, suckas!
Anyway, I’m not talking about weird bric-a-brac dangling off chains from pierced body parts. I’m talking about real showstoppers here, people. Your dainty little purse just isn’t going to cut it these days. Sure, it hangs off your body, but you need something much more bold. I’m rocking the sweet Graffiti Utility Backpack as my main accessory. It holds up to eight cans of spray paint. And you know what? I don’t even carry anything in it. That thing hangs from my masculine shoulders strictly as a fashion statement. Fashion over function, baby! I’ve also got the Canon T3i around my shoulder. Again, strictly for the look. There are so many buttons I don’t even know how to work the thing. Turning the device on is way over my head, but I can tell you this: people take a double look at me when I pass and I hear their jealous whispers. Is he off to shoot a bunch of hot fashion models? A celebrity wedding? They will never know, ha!
If you don’t know it already, I’m a strong advocate of, what we refer to in the industry as, “A & A”. What that means is “Accessorize Accessories”. Check it. I’ve got the awesome Graffiti Utility Backpack, which really enhances my “too-old-to-be-a-street-kid-but-I-don’t-care” look, but the genius behind it all is that I am using the uber cute pink water bottle to accessorize the backpack. Bam! Not only does it bring attention to my awesome backpack, but it also makes a great statement. It says, “Clasahn cares about being hydrated.” Of course, I don’t even drink the water because I have to avoid all risks of possibly retaining water. I mean, geez, if I’m going to keep this figure. Am I right, ladies? Anyway, when it comes to the water bottle, trust me, passersby take notice. Well, who are we kidding? With looks like this, passersby always notice me, but that goes without saying. Duh!
Worn in and unwashed jeans is a no-brainer. Ok, you got me. I do wash my jeans. Like once every four weeks! As for the black shoes. I got them in Paris. No big deal. If you’re not buying your shoes in Paris yet, then you really aren’t buying shoes. It’s as simple as that. You should always wear bright white socks too. A lot of people think black socks with black shoes, but here’s the thing: a lot of people are fucking stupid. But not you, I love you all.
Just don’t let me catch you in sunglasses that cost less than $300.
* Photos by the talented and beautiful Cerezas Y Tigres.