Posts Tagged ‘for reals’

Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin Spice Is Oh So Nice

Seriously, this pumpkin thing has gotten out of control. If this overabundance of pumpkin spice everything is a precursor to the madness of what this year’s Black Friday will bring than, as a society, we are up pumpkin spice creek…without a paddle. Or a latte.

On the other hand, let’s just eat (pumpkin spice), drink (pumpkin spice) and be merry! If you shop at Trader Joe’s it is extremely easy to hop on the PS bandwagon. Personally, I don’t do the grocery shopping for my house because my contribution is to sit in the car and read instead of scrutinizing the price of everything that gets put in the shopping cart. It works out better for all parties involved. However, I do help unload the grocery bags once they’re in our kitchen and here are some of the seasonal items I noticed. Despite Coral and I making fun of the pumpkin spice craze she couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

I’ve never heard her say, “If you can’t beat em’, join em'”, but some things can go unspoken and there is that phrase about actions speaking louder than words. After I took that photo and put all the items back in the pantry I noticed we also had a box of pumpkin waffles in the freezer and in the fridge I found their cousin, a bag of pumpkin bagels. I contemplated redoing the photo, but talked myself out of it because I have bigger pumpkins to fry. I’ll pretend that joke works here. Anyway, Trader Joe’s isn’t the only one shoving delicious pumpkin flavored goods down our throats. Just loook at what the fine folks over at Durex have concocted.

Besides Durex there is a whole slew of companies pumpkin spicing up your life this season. Jamba Juice has their Pumpkin Smash smoothie. Starbucks is pumping out more Pumpkin Spice Latte’s than you can shake a stick at. Or throw a gourd at. Either way, it’s a lot of freakin’ latte’s. If you’re looking to get your pumpkin spice fix here are some things you can try out.


Umm…


Why???


Still prefer the good ole’ fashioned chocolate kisses. Everybody does.


As if boxed wine wasn’t good enough already.


You know, after eating all of these goodies and washing them down with your box wine you’re going to need to brush those teeth and freshen up your gross pumpkin breath. What better way than with Pumpkin Spice Crest?

As if toothpaste wasn’t enough and if nobody poked a needle through your pumpkin spice condom then you might find yourself, if you’re a woman, picking up these the next time your “time” comes around.

Yeah, those are just wrong, but don’t fret because if the thought of the pumpkin spice tampon makes you sick to your stomach, we’ve got you covered.

Seriously, this could go on and on, but I should probably stop or else I’ll be writing and google image searching until the cows come home. Or at least until the Gingerbread Latte hits Starbucks this winter.

And yes, I’m totally sporting the pumpkin spice self tanner all month.

– Jeff

P.S. – There probably is a pumpkin spice self tanner out there for all the weirdos that want to walk around looking like Oompa Loompa’s.

P.P.S – Everything you find on the internet is real!!! Including this donation link, which will afford me all the Pumpkin Smash Smoothies I need to sooth this sore throat.

P.P.P.S. – I can’t believe it! Coral finally found a photo of me with my high school punk band from back in the day.

Amazing Factoids From James

Since James started high school he’s been bringing home a myriad of random tidbits and factoids that are both funny and worrisome. Here are a couple of my favorites.

There is a huge tree in the center of a small parking lot on campus where I pick James up after theater rehearsal. As we were pulling out of the lot somebody in the car made a comment like, “Why is that big tree there? They should totally cut it down.” I’m no hippie, but I responded with “I’m sure the tree was there before the parking lot was?” which was my way of saying the tree has more of a right to be there than the two parking spaces it’s blocking. This is where James came in with, “Well, did you know the school was built before the town.” I’m guessing that was his way of saying…well, I really have no idea, but I am pretty sure the high school was not the first thing the settlers built 100 years ago. And it probably wasn’t the first thing the Indians built 100 years before that.

The next one is also tree related. According to James it is illegal to cut or trim any tree in Atascadero.

The crown jewel of these tidbits is about Spain. So, the other night I am filling a cup with ice and Evelyn commented that I love ice. It’s totally true. I put ice in almost everything I drink. Then James said, “Did you know that in Spain they don’t give you ice at restaurants?”
Intrigued, Evy asked why.
“I guess it’s hard to make there.”

Yeah, that’s our James.

* Remember that time James microwaved ice?

I Know The Cookies Are Here Somewhere

One of the many difficulties of parenthood is not being able to congratulate your offspring when they accomplish feats like this. Seriously, I’m proud of the little guy. How could you not be? This is not a rebellious act. The dude simply wanted some cookies and through a focused determination, razor sharp ingenuity and an undying persistence he accomplished his goal and met his stated objective. When I walked in on this I wanted to give him a high five, tell him how proud I was and hug him until his cheeks burst, but that would only encourage more of it, which is a struggle for me because he’s sort of a badass and I like that. On the other hand, I have to protect him and I don’t want him to fall off the counter in a crazed cookie sugar high. So, inside my head I have a silent victory party for my little spiderman and to him I said something like, “Dude, seriously? Get down from there!” This is also a good time to mention that if Coral caught me giving him a high five for this I’d be sleeping on the couch for a week. Here’s a secret though, I am pretty sure Elliott can see the look of proudness I have for him in my eyes. Afterall, I did let him eat a cookie and that’s like rewarding him for climbing on the counter. So basically, guys shouldn’t be parents.

Now let’s all eat a cookie and pat ourselves on the back.

– Jeff

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