Posts Tagged ‘paso robles’

Pink Mocha Cupcake Breakfast

On my way to work this morning I stopped by the downtown gas station to pick up the world’s healthiest breakfast, a Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino and a pack of cigs. And by “cigs” I mean a pack of Hostess Cupcakes. I know, I know…you’re impressed with the healthy food options at our gas station. It’s like “farm-to-table”, but with a twist of “shit you should not be putting in your body”. What can I say, this town is a treasure. Speaking of treasure, this is what I walked out of the gas station with.

Not exactly what I planned on, but why not toss some fancy Rosé into the mix with your gross “coffee” and awful “cupcakes”? I have been a long time fan of the Chronic Cellars artwork, but this is my first ever purchase. Of course, I’ve also heard plenty of good things about the wines. And you probably didn’t realize how fancy I am, but I’ve also met Josh a few times. He’s the winemaker and one of the Beckett Brothers that created Chronic Cellars back in 2004. Anyway, I’ve been trying to hunt down this Pink Pedals Rosé for a few weeks. Despite living 3.5 miles away from the Chronic tasting room I’ve been trying to find it at local grocery stores. Going straight to the source is always my first choice, but my work hours conflict with their tasting room hours. I see their other wines in the stores and figured it would be no problem finding the bottle I wanted, but have yet to come across the elusive Pink Pedals. Until now…

So, I was at the gas station and a lady in line before me was buying a bottle and I was like, “What the…? They sell that here?” This place is about one minute away from my shop. It’s like Pink Pedals has been laughing in my face this whole time. Well, I’ve got you now, Pink Pedals!

If I seem a little more talkative and animated (or we’re closed early, but you see me asleep and drooling on the counter) at work tonight you know why.

Rosé all day,
Jeff

Oh yeah, check out Joe’s artwork on IG: @jkalionzes. He’s freakin’ awesome.

Idiots And Assholes

This is what I saw when I walked out of work a couple of days ago.


Just because you left somebody in the backseat with the door open does not mean you are allowed to park like an idiot. Seriously, with two open spots side by side how hard could it be to park in between the lines? Perhaps this person needs to trade this car in for a Mini Cooper. Or better yet, maybe they need to start taking the bus. Or, even better, stay home. However, this is nothing compared to what awaited me two days later when I got to work in the morning.


Who does this? I’ll tell you. Assholes do this, that’s who. Seriously, what is wrong with people? There is nothing more annoying to me than having to pick up somebody else’s mess. Why do people think it’s ok to do this? There are four containers here. That means it’s safe to assume there were four people (or 2 very hungry ones) eating on/around the bench directly in front of our shop. Probably adults. Not a single one of them noticed the garbage can on the corner, which is about a 15-20 second walk from the bench. Not a single one thought to pick up after their retarded friends. And not a single one spoke up to be all, “Yo, guys…let’s not leave all our shit here.” Should I mention the place their food came from was a 15-20 second walk in the opposite direction of the trash can on the corner and it would have been totally appropriate to walk the trash back to the place where the food came from. To put that another way, these assholes were 15 seconds away in either direction from finding a place to dispose of their trash properly.

Someone parking like an idiot is funny to me. People acting like assholes is not funny. It’s annoying, but hey…it gave me something to write a blog post about. See, inspiration is all around us. Thanks, assheads!

Update 8am: BONUS IDIOT

This person was in front of me and we both pulled up to the curb at the same time to park. She refused to pull forward for some reason and stopped just in front of the red zone. Oh, I know why, because she’s an asshole and an idiot. I won’t say I was “forced” to park in the red zone because of her. I’m an adult willing to take responsibility for my actions and I admittedly chose to park in the red zone as opposed to driving around to find a spot further away from my destination, but I could have been a lot less in the red zone (like just my bumper, maybe) had she pulled forward like a decent human being. The further out of the red zone I could be the greater the chance of not getting a ticket. Hey, you know what? I have photoshop, let’s see how this would look if Miss Poopy Parker did pull forward.


See, my car totally fits!
Ok, I know that’s only half my car, but use your imagination. I’m guessing that half my back tire to the bumper would be in the red zone. And here’s how much of an idiot I am. I honestly contemplated driving back just to get a photo where my whole car would be in frame.

Happy parking!
– Jeff

P.S. – Check out the new “Parisian Princess” t-shirt.

Twisted And Glazed: New Donut Shop In Paso Robles

I could not be happier with the fact that there is a new donut shop in my little town. Some might say, “do we need a fourth donut shop in this town?” And my response is this, “Yes. Yes, we do.” And here’s why. I love donuts. So much, in fact, that my business card reads, “painter. donut eater”. No joke. Here, I’ll show you.

Of course, I do have to admit that four is a bit excessive, but the reason I say we need a new donut shop is because the other three aren’t doing it right.

I’ve lived in Paso Robles since the summer of 2013 and have been tolerating the donuts this town has to offer the entire time. In a way, donuts are like pizza. They are both round and it’s pretty hard to find one that I don’t like. That being said, I still haven’t LOVED any donuts I’ve come across in this town. It got to the point where to satisfy my morning sweet tooth I started going to the little Mexican Market down the street to get concha’s, which are those deliciously tasty sweet breads most people simply refer to as “Mexican Bread”.

They were pretty satisfying and I can’t think of a time where I ever came across a concha I didn’t like. But, alas, it still wasn’t a donut. When that phased out I really digressed and found myself at a local gas station buying Hostess Cupcake’s before going to work. Talk about a low point.

And then…

Twisted And Glazed opens their door and hits the scene with these!

You’re looking at an animal cracker donut and a S’mores donut. That’s right, a mutha fucking S’mores donut!

This is a not another food or restaurant review blog, so I’ll just end this by saying I’m extremely happy that there is FINALLY a good donut shop in town.

And a quick shout out, of course. You can find Twisted And Glazed on
Instagram: @twistedandglazed
Facebook: facebook.com/twistedglazed

But, what you really need, is to shove one of these fuckers donuts in your face and you can do that at:
541 Spring St in Paso Robles, CA.

Happy eating!
– Jeff

* Donut photos by @slomygosh

I Need To Move To Iceland Because

Gladly accepting donations for Jamba Juice and other cold treats.

Real Fucking Funny, Asshole. And A Public Service Announcement For Paso Robles Residents.

Ok, look. I love an April Fool’s prank as much as the next guy. BUT, didn’t you do enough damage when you broke into our car on Valentine’s Day*?


(just 6 weeks ago)
Seriously? What the fuck is going on here?

When the kids and I walked outside yesterday morning a pile of glass that used to be our window is what was waiting for us. Obviously, we were (and still are) super pissed off and totally bummed out. Not a good April Fool’s prank in my book. But the real joke is on our 3 year old because check out his seat.

There is nothing like sitting on a pile of glass the next time you want to pick up a tub of Dunkers from Trader Joe’s. The thief must have seen the carseat through the window and thought, “Oh, a family with a baby. They are going to LOVE this.”

Hopefully, this fingerprinting will get some results. When the officer came by to write up a report it was 9:30am and she told us we were the sixth house she had been to already for car break ins. It’s safe to say she had more on her list to go to after us. I should mention that our neighbors had two cars broken into as well, but nothing was taken so they were not included in the six victims that the police had told me about. Two of the victims had laptops stolen.

There is a car break in spree going on in Paso Robles! Be safe.

Do not leave anything valuable in your car at all. AT ALL. The only thing that was taken from our car was a small make up bag, which was on the floor behind the driver’s seat. We didn’t even realize it was there. Nothing is sacred. Perhaps the burglar thought it was a wallet or purse full of money. Who knows, but whatever the reason it was worth the risk of getting caught to find out. I was out with a friend and came home at 1:45am. Then I was up until 3:30am and I’d like to think I would hear glass breaking right outside, but I didn’t hear anything. Being that we were just one of several victims on April 1, I’m guessing the break ins are happening between 2:30-4:00am.

This home surveillance video was taken just one week ago in Paso Robles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb0eUeZRkk4

Read the accompanying article at: http://pasoroblesdailynews.com/video-police-seek-help-in-identifying-theft-suspect/33333/.

Please please please spread the word. Share this post or the news article post with everybody. We live in a nice place and it’s very sad that these self-entitled consciousless people are disrupting our well being.

Copy/paste either of these url’s on your facebook status, twitter, etc.
News article: http://pasoroblesdailynews.com/video-police-seek-help-in-identifying-theft-suspect/33333/
This blog post: http://jeffclaassen.com/blog/2015/04/real-fucking-funny-asshole-and-a-public-service-announcement-for-paso-robles-residents

I understand that we shouldn’t leave valuables in our cars, but why not. It’s our car parked on our private property. We should totally be able to leave whatever we want in our cars without a worry. But we can’t because some people out there are assholes.

*Valentine’s Day: I never mentioned the break in on here because it was so upsetting. In fact, I haven’t even blogged at all because of it, but to sum it up. We took a family trip to SF and literally at our last stop before heading home our car was broken into. Two windows were smashed to oblivion. ALL of our luggage was stolen, which was about $10k worth of property. Glass was everywhere. The robbers blood was smeared on one of the seats. After going to the police we finally left the city at 11pm and had to drive 3.5 hours with two broken windows and three kids.

PS. Don’t get me wrong. I understand perspective. A broken car window is nothing compared to a suicidal maniac crashing a plane with 150 people on it into the side of a mountain. The thing is, help where you can. Help your community. Doing good wherever you are only adds to a positive collective consciousness.

Artisan Mural: Day One, Putting Down The Black Lines

The very first thing I painted on the wall was this heart. Everything grew out of that. Here is the wall before the heart.

Painting a massive wall like this is fun. It can be a little intimidating at first. I mean, think about it, this is a pretty big wall that can’t be missed when you walk into Artisan. A lot of people will see it, so you want it to look good. It can be very easy to overthink what you’re going to do. Because my style is very spontaneous and I like to create on the spot I find it best to not focus on the big picture. Just start with something small like the heart. Then add a couple of other details. Then a couple more. After awhile it all starts coming together. Eventually you get to a spot where it just feels right. Almost as if you might ruin it if you add more stuff. At least at this stage anyway.

The initial “black lines” stage, as I call it, is done. The next step is to add color. After that I might find that I do need to add some more characters or whimsical lines, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Then the last stage comes, which is all the detail work of going over the initial black lines and making them crisp and clean.

There was a point today when I was standing at the top of the ladder painting a cluster of stars, which was one of the last things I painted and I looked down and across the wall and to put it simply, I just felt blessed. It’s the middle of the day and I’m basically drawing on a wall like a little kid with a pack of crayons. I just feel so fortunate that people give me these opportunities. A lot of you reading this have been nice enough to buy my artwork over the years and I want you all to know that it means the world to me. If you hadn’t supported me when you did I probably would not have been on top of that ladder today painting that cluster of stars. The way I explained painting this mural is a lot like life. Trying to see the big picture before it exists can drive you crazy. Back in 2004 when I opened my gallery I didn’t know that 11 years later I’d be painting this huge mural in the nicest restaurant in town. So remember, start with a little heart and see where it takes you. It might surprise and astound you.

Sweet dreams.
– Jeff

Elliott And An S-Load Of Birdhouses

A few blocks down from our house lives a person with an insatiable appetite for birdhouses. And I’m glad they do because it looks awesome. This is literally just a portion of the fence. What you don’t see is how far it extends out of frame. Also, the opposite side of the fence has birdhouses on it and when you peek over the fence into their backyard you see even more birdhouses all over the place. I wish I had the same thing, but replace each and every birdhouse with a stack of $100 bills. Or cocaine.* One day I had a brief conversation with the owner/birdhouse addict. He was an incredibly nice fellow and pointed out a specific house to me as he told me the story of a little boy, about 5 or 6 years old, who walked by one day, loved all the birdhouses and told the man that he had built a birdhouse and asked the man if he could hang it on his fence. Of course, that was the birdhouse he was showing me. I thought that was awesome.

*Just kidding about the cocaine thing. Although, if you think it about the cocaine might be worth more than the stack of $100 bills. But really, I was just quoting Gob from Arrested Development.

See.

Speaking of, how awesome is it that Season 4 was finally released on DVD. Coral got it for me for Christmas and I haven’t watched the special features yet. I better get on that.

End scene.
– Jeff

Photos Of Coral Taking Photos #1

I can see this becoming an ongoing series of mine. I have already amassed A LOT of photos of Coral taking photos. Some might consider it an unhealthy amount. Others might consider me a stalker. She is much more the photographer in the family than I am, which means she gets to use the fancy camera. Although, since investing in the GoPro I’ll have to admit I’m feeling pretty fancy lately.

Another thing I’ll have to admit is how cute she looks with a camera in her hand. I mean, Dang! She is one hot little cutie! One of the things about Coral that you might not know is that she transforms into a totally different person when she gets a camera in her hand. I’ve seen the transformation take place numerous times and it never gets boring to me. I love watching her work.

I’ve learned that once she’s in her element it is best to step back and let her do her thing. If you get in her way you get trampled, so be on the lookout.

These photos were all taken back in October after spending a day in Cambria. Highway 46 is a gorgeous drive from Paso Robles to Cambria. It can get pretty windy up there, but on a clear day you get a spectacular view of the Pacific and can even see Morro Rock off in the distance. If you find yourself on this drive I highly suggest stopping by Jack Creek Farm and trying one of their delicious Apple Cider Slushies. So good!

Coral doesn’t know I’m writing this and I might get in trouble for it, but oh well…I’m going to say it anyway. She is totally available for photography jobs. I know she won’t do a wedding, but she’s totally up for product shots, possibly some candid style portraits and of course, fashion photography. If you’re interested in hiring her contact her through one of her IG accounts or let me know and I’ll pass on the message.

Check her out on Instagram. She has two accounts at the moment.
instagram.com/slomygosh: Her personal account with lots of photos of our kids and some other random stuff.
instagram.com/coralcoloredglasses: Her professional account. Since May 2014 it is mostly photos of her deer series, which is totally worth checking out, but if you scroll down past May you will see some of her fashion photography.

Thanks for looking!
– Jeff

A Couple Photos Of Elliott In Action And A Bonus Rare Sighting

Like most three year olds, Elliott is EXTREMELY busy. If the kid isn’t strapped into a carseat or a high chair he is in constant motion. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but he is constantly looking for it. Last week after dropping the big kids off at the airport Elliott and I spent the morning at the playground in Golden Gate Park, which is a must do for anybody visiting San Francisco with kids. Here’s Elliott jumping with more style than David Lee Roth could ever dream of.

On second thought, David Lee Roth might have slightly more style if you consider doing the air splits style, which I don’t. One thing is for certain though and that is the obvious fact that Elliott dresses better.


Living in Paso Robles in the summer means living in the heat. Living in the heat means season passes to The Ravine Waterpark are an absolute must. And if you are Elliott that means owning the crane slide in the kiddie pool. I’ll admit at the beginning of summer he was a bit apprehensive, but once he conquered his fear that crane didn’t have a chance.

Like I said earlier, the kid is constantly moving, but every once in a great while he actually does fall asleep.

And when he does, it is beyond glorious.

See ya!
– Jeff

You Don’t Belong Here Anyway: A Photo Series By Coral

If you are not yet following my lovely lady on Instagram I suggest you start.

Where we live happens to have a huge deer population and I don’t mean Goliath size dinosaur deer. I mean “huge” as in there are A LOT of them. A few of months ago Coral started deer hunting. With a camera, not a gun. And I’ve got to tell you, they are a bold and brazen bunch. So much so that we caught one on our porch late one night and I know you might be sarcastically thinking, “Big deal!” I’d think that to if the deer just strolled through our front lawn to get to our porch, but no no no. To get to our porch means you have to climb 21 steps and make your way past a baby gate. Now, if you’re thinking, “must be a pain in the ass when you have to carry groceries from the car or take the trash out,” you are exactly right. But I digress…

as I often do because…who knows? Anyway, as I was saying…

A few months ago we decided to take a leisurely drive through the neighborhood just to find some deer and on our first outing we caught a baby deer, no bigger than a foot tall, walking across the street about 60 seconds from our house. Don’t get me wrong, deer are total pests and have literally eaten enough of Coral’s plants that she’d need to apply for a loan to replace them. I’m talking a lot of plants here, people. However, seeing the baby deer walk across the street was incredibly adorable. And, in a way, so out of place. It sparked an idea for Coral and she started documenting the deer we find. Coral came up with the “You don’t belong here anyway” series based on the contrast/contradiction of seeing the deer (nature) mixing in with the neighborhood (civilization).

Coral is much more eloquent with words, so I’m giving her the floor here:

We discovered that the entire west side of town abutted a vast hill country. The result of which is wildlife intersecting with civilization. Deer, rabbits, mountain lions, wild boars, skunks… For better or worse, the line between nature and neighborhood is indistinct and very blurry here. And though the deer particularly have been a nightmare for me as a gardener, I can’t help but be in awe of them- impressed with their bold resilience, and a bit confused by it too. I’ll be forgoing fashion for a bit to post a series of photos documenting the deer throughout my neighborhood; it’s called You Don’t Belong Here Anyway. I hope these photos and their title encourage you to consider whether it’s the deer, or the suburban sprawl that remains out of place, and I hope you enjoy!

– Coral

I couldn’t have said it better.

If you can please picture us in Safari outfits cruising around Paso Robles in a 1976 Scout, it would be much appreciated.

It’s not Coral’s first color choice, but as the driver on these urban hunts I get to choose the color of our vehicle.

Be sure to follow Coral on Instagram: @coralcoralglasses

Enjoy!
– Jeff

3rd Annual Group Show At Vale Fine Art In Paso Robles CA

Stoked to have been included in this awesome show at Vale Fine Art! Of course, when you’re biz partners with the curator it helps a bit to get your foot in the door. Thanks, Neal!

This show is only open for two more days before it comes down. If you’re on the Central Coast I highly encourage you to check this out in person. Seeing art off the computer screen is a much better way to experience it.

The final days are this Friday 5-9pm and Saturday 6-9pm (April 18-19). It’s totally free to see the show and the artwork available is all one of kind originals. As in, no prints or reproductions and prices range from $125-$2200.


Curator extrodinaire, Neal Breton. He only agreed to this photo if I let him wear his sunglasses. Yeah, he’s a total diva. Shhh, don’t tell him I said that or he won’t invite me to be in any more art shows.


(Fox paintings by Neal Breton.)


(Deer painting by Neal Breton.)


(Yes, that’s me eating my son’s ear on my bio.)

In my opinion, Walt Hall totally stole the show with this amazing installation.

(Some of Walt’s pieces are priced as low as $125, which is a total steal for an original painting. Seriously, get on that.)


(By Walt Hall)


(Awesome painting in the front window by Bret Brown.)


(By Bret Brown)


(Awesome “toy paintings” By Josh Talbott.)


(Here’s a funky angle for you of Josh’s installation.)


(Central Coast superstar Lena Rushing.)


(By Lena Rushing)

The back of the gallery features the amazing work of Edward Walton Wilcox. Here are a couple photos of Edward’s work.

Once again, you only have two more days to see this show before it comes down, April 18 5-9pm and April 19 6-9pm. Neal put A LOT of hard work into this and it really shows. Do him a solid by making the trek to Paso Robles to check it out.

Enjoy!
– Jeff

Fiasco Gallery Grand Opening

I think this might be my “official” announcement about Fiasco Gallery. I’ve been hitting the social media outlets pretty hard about it (find us on the IG and the FB), but I think I’ve only slightly brushed upon the topic here on the blog. Anyway…

A few months ago my bushy bearded art buddy, Neal Breton invited me to join him in sharing a studio space in Paso Robles at “Studios On The Park“. Since closing the doors of my gallery in SLO a year ago and having recently moved to Paso Robles it was a no brainer. If I didn’t say yes I would have felt like a big dum dum.

The space is a working studio, meaning we can be found there painting, drawing, resin coating prints, making buttons and all the other artsy things we do. That’s right, catch us in action, people. In addition to working in the space we are open to the public four days a week and have a lot of our artwork and merchandise for sale. You get a great mix of working studio/ art gallery happening and it’s constantly evolving since we work in there. As soon as we finish a new painting it gets hung up on the wall and is ready for a collector to snatch it up, take it home and stare at it in awe of our genius for years to come. It’s awesome.

The space is an old auto repair shop that’s been converted into about eight different art studios shared by twenty or so artists. I don’t know the exact numbers, but it’s a fun environment to work in and as an art fan you can expect to see an eclectic mix of artwork.

August was the “getting our feet wet” month, and now that our feet are fully submerged we are inviting you all to check out what we’ve been up to and what we have in the works.

This Grand Opening is not a traditional “art show” as we haven’t been hoarding all our new work for the past six months for a big red carpet, wine and cheese unveiling. We certainly do have new things to show you, but we also have some big pieces that are in progress. I’m working hard on my Puzzle Painting and Neal just started painting two giant 4′ x 7′ canvases.

We’d love to see you all and have you join us on this new adventure we’re embarking on in this town we’re not too familiar with, but are getting to know and love. Well, we don’t love the 90-100 degree days, but who does. Other than that Paso Robles is growing on us. We’re like the new kids at school this Fall, but we haven’t been too bullied yet.

The Fiasco Gallery Grand Opening will be on Saturday September 7, 2013 from 6-9pm at:
Studios On The Park
1130 Pine St.
Paso Robles CA

Be sure to like us on Facebook and RSVP on our Event Page.

Yes, this is a FREE event. Party!

See you soon!
– Jeff

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