Oh, My Incestuous Foot Habits

old shoes

The year is 2008. Could it be the end of an era? The above shoes are my beloved Es Accel’s. This particular pair has been my pride and joy for over a year (at least), as evidenced by the inexorable destruction. I have literally owned over 12 pairs of this shoe. I have easily been a fan of this particular shoe model since 1997, maybe earlier. From 1995 to 2000 I worked at a mailorder skateboard warehouse and when I quit in the summer of 2000 I bought about three pairs to take advantage of my discount. Those three pairs lasted me awhile, but eventually I had to pay full price for them at local skateshops. Every time I went in for a new pair I would be struck with a rush of anxiety out of fear that Es might have discontinued the best shoe ever made on the face of the Earth. Oh, how I love the Accel! It’s magnificent simplicity and nondescript beauty are unparalleled in the world of footwear. Not just skaterboard footwear. ALL footwear. That’s right, I’ll take a pair of Es Accel’s before I ever take a pair of those overrated Louis Vuitton Luxury Calf Leather bullshits any day. Ok, ok, I would take a pair, but only to resell on Ebay, which would give me enough money to buy a dozen more pairs of Accel’s. All this talk about my devotion to the best shoes ever made, The Es Accel’s, and yet, today my feet have ventured into uncharted waters. Let me present to you my new podalic adornments.

new shoe

These are the Etnie Digits. Aren’t they just tasty looking? So delectable, I just want to eat them up. Lucky for me, wearing this new shoe does not fill me with any feelings of guilt. You see, wearing this shoe is quite incestuous because of how Es and Etnies are so closely related. This, of course, offers me a bit of relief. I, as they say, am keeping it all in the family.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Comments are closed.