The City Of SLO Thinks Its Citizen’s Are A Bunch Of Third Graders

no cigs

I am totally on board with this “no smoking downtown” law. These new signs need to seriously step up the threat though. “Smoking in public is not allowed”. “Allowed”…c’mon, what are we, a bunch of snotty nosed third graders sipping Capri Sun on our morning recess? I think not.

It’s a total shock that the city doesn’t consult with me first on these matters. With such a passive slogan on these new signs I wouldn’t be surprised to find smokers putting out their cigarettes on them. In fact, I’m tempted to pick up the habit just to throw my burning cigarette at every “smoking is not allowed” sign that crosses my path. Then, I’d run away laughing like a little girl.

Doesn’t it just make perfect sense to scare people into not smoking downtown? You need to let them know exactly what’s at stake if they get caught. Here’s what I came up with and I guarantee you it would be much better received. “SMOKING DOWNTOWN IS ILLEGAL. IF YOU ARE CAUGHT SMOKING DOWNTOWN YOU WILL BE FINED DEATH BY LUNG CANCER AS WELL AS $1000.”

If that isn’t incentive enough I suggest adding a call to action by installing one of these under every “no smoking” sign.

butt stop

It’s not rocket science, people. It should be common knowledge at this point in human development that people respond to incentives. “Not allowed” isn’t much of an incentive to not do something. If I was smoking and saw my version of the “no smoking” sign as well as a humorous trash can designed specifically for the cigarette in my mouth I wouldn’t hesitate to toss it in there. Well, I’d probably take one last drag. Then I’d glance left to right looking for the police. Then one more drag before tossing it in.

Oh yeah, under the “IF YOU ARE CAUGHT SMOKING DOWNTOWN YOU WILL BE FINED DEATH BY LUNG CANCER AS WELL AS $1000” there should be this in parentheses: If you do get caught your fine is equal to 200 packs of cigarettes. Or more specifically, 4,000 cigarettes! Don’t be a dummy.

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2 Responses to “The City Of SLO Thinks Its Citizen’s Are A Bunch Of Third Graders“

  1. Coral says:

    “Laughing like a little girl”!!! Ok, I get why this got so many views… I laughed out loud. You didn’t hear it because you’re in the shower- but really… out loud.

    Also, I love your idea- but until the city steps up to the plate, I’m sticking with the whole “watering the plants” over smokers on the bench below- passive aggressive (but mostly aggressive) ridiculousness. N’kay?

    *smmmooooch*

  2. jeff says:

    dumping water on unsuspecting people a floor below always gets a laugh from me. keep it up!