Elliott, Hitting Daddy With Things Is a No No.

Elliott gave me a fat bloody lip with a crocodile flashlight. That is one of those things I never thought I would have to say, but when you have a three year old there is no limit to the ridiculous statements that become possible.

This would have looked way more badass if I would have thought to photograph it before rinsing all the blood out of my mouth.

At first I thought I may have lost a tooth, which would have been a bummer, but at least I would be able to show it off when trying to convince people that I am really a hillbilly. Anyway, after cleaning all the blood off my teeth and gums I discovered that it was the inside of my lip that was bleeding and not my gums. I figure all my teeth will remain safely in place.

Lucky for Elliott, this was an accident and not an act of frustration where he picks up whatever is closest to him and throws it. We were having a fun morning wrestling and tickling and laughing and then WHAM! Crocodile flashlight in my face! It was the closest I had ever come to yelling, “MUTHA FUCKER!” in front of one of the kids. I actually did yell “MUTHA…” and cut myself off. Everybody has their go to curse that comes out uncontrollably when they get hit in the face with a crocodile flashlight and that’s mine.


Elliott apologized. We kissed and hugged and all is good in the world again.

And what is your go to curse word?

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