Working With A Monkey On My Back


(photo by Coral)

This kid. He’s such a monkey. Ready for real talk? Here’s the truth about having a kid. I have never loved something so much yet been so incredibly annoyed with a person at the same exact time. It’s a strange feeling, which is made stranger because while he’s being annoying he has no clue at all that he’s being annoying. And he looks at me with the happiest eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s so full of love and just wants to play. It’s one of the hard things about being a parent and working at home. If I didn’t have to work I would be wrestling and having tickling wars with Elliott all day. Normally, my work at home days are spent in the garage while Coral watches Elliott in the house and that’s a nice set up. As of late, it’s been freezing in the garage, so I’ve been setting up shop on our kitchen table. Yes, my seat is right over a heater vent and it feels great. Ok, now let me give you a little play by play.

Elliott is in the living room with Coral while I’m in the kitchen working on a painting. Elliott runs to me yelling, “ELMO!” while shoving an Elmo plush doll in my face. After hugging Elmo I hand him back and Elliott runs back to the living room. One minute later he’s running back to me saying, “McQueen! McQueen! McQueen!”. I hand him the Lightning McQueen car that’s on the table. He grabs it, saying, “Welcome!” as he turns away because somewhere he picked up on the phrase “you’re welcome” and he uses it instead of saying “thank you.” It’s cute and endearing and he’ll figure it out eventually. A minute passes and he’s back in the kitchen pointing at our bunny, Pascal, who is enjoying his out of the cage time by munching on a cardboard box in the corner of our kitchen. Elliott fishes a bunny poop out of the cage and tries to feed it to Pascal. Then he motions to me to pet Pascal. After I pet the bunny Elliott grabs a bungee cord that he’s attached to Elmo’s leg and runs back to the living room yelling something in that special Elliott speak that we can’t always decipher.

Ok, let’s review. In a three minute span of time I…
– stopped painting to hug Elmo
– stopped painting to grab a McQueen car
– stopped painting to explain that Pascal does not want to eat his own poop

That’s all in a three minute span of time, people. And this goes on ALL DAY. I allow myself to watch something on YouTube while I eat lunch. Today I chose a 12 minute long interview with Mike D. In the twenty minutes of stuffing my face with more quesadillas than I can count, I managed to see 5 minutes of the interview because Elliott “needed” something every minute or two which involved setting down my food, pausing the video and taking off my headphones.

Sure, every once in awhile he will get totally engrossed in something, which is awesome for two reasons. One, I love to see his little mind at work while he constructs a block tower or hooking a bungee cord up to two cars so they can tow each other around. And two, it creates a little pocket of time in which I (or Coral) can work without interruptions.

By the 15th Elliott interruption today I looked at him and said, “Elliott, you are so annoying, but so stinking cute.” Then I picked him up and gave him a big hug.

What else can I do? I love the little pest.

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