A Shard Of Metal, Some Tweezers And My Eyeball

I know it’s not much in comparison to google searching “nail in eye”, but it still was kind of an ordeal.

That little metal shard was stuck in my eye. It had been there for hours and I thought it was just dust from being on the ranch with my Dad yesterday. When I finally decided to investigate around 1am I was like, “WTF is that?!” I am one of those people that can not touch my eyeball. Is that a thing? Yes, it is. There are people out there that have no problem touching their eyeballs. I try to and my lid involuntarily closes faster than you can say, “I’ve got a finger in my eye.” So, I attempted several times to slide my finger over my eyeball in hopes of snagging the metal shard, but failed at every attempt. Then I tried to flush it out by keeping my eye open while dipping my face in a bowl of water. Fail. Back to eyeball touching. A couple of times I was able to hold my eyelid back and when I ran my finger over the shard I realized it was not just sitting on the surface of my eye, that bitch was STUCK in my eye. That’s when I panicked. Not a lot, but enough to know that I could not go to sleep with a shard of metal sticking in my eye. In fact, it wasn’t even a panic as much as it was one of those, “Shit…now I have to deal with this?” kind of sighs. Also, there was no way I was going to the emergency room for something that didn’t involve a bone poking out of my skin. That’s when I got the bright idea to perform self surgery with a pair of tweezers. After a couple of attempts I successfully grabbed that sonuvabitch and pulled it right out. Like most things stuck to your face it felt A LOT bigger than it actually was. All in all, it was a typical night in The Claassen House.

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