The Cuesta Promise, Gone Wrong

This day was inevitable. It had been coming for months. I knew it was only a matter of time, but my Cuesta Promise sunglasses finally broke. The Cuesta Promise, if you are not in the know, is a scholarship program for SLO County high school grads. It’s a pretty sweet deal because Cuesta is giving these grads two years of free learning. It’s really quite amazing, but what’s even better is that I got a free pair of sunglasses out of the deal. It doesn’t quite show up in the photo, but the lenses are a reflective purple and the green lettering on the arm of the glasses says “The Cuesta Promise”. Sure, I might have “borrowed” them from Evelyn without asking, but they look (looked) better on me anyway. Also, if you saw the last post you are well aware of the bullshit I’ve put up with, so I think stealing her Cuesta Promise shades is totally justified.

Ok, here’s what happened. I won’t get into specific details, but here’s a quick breakdown.
– Evelyn visited Cuesta and they hooked her up with these sweet sunglasses.
– As cool as they are they were severely neglected. They sort of just floated around the house for a while. Months maybe?
– My $6 gas station sunglasses broke. Go figure.
– Running out the door one morning I saw the Cuesta Promise glasses and put them on because I had been going out without glasses on for about a week and my sensitive eyes couldn’t stand it any longer.
– I was now a 41 year old dude wearing glasses that were made to help promote 17 year olds attend college.

Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with it. If anything, it would embarrass Evy, which I saw as an extra bonus. Protect my eyes and embarrass my kid at the same time. Yes, please. Sign me up!

Sadly, I can’t recall if she ever was embarrassed, but I marched on. Also, I am not the type of guy to buy something I don’t need. Why waste money on new glasses when the Cuesta Promise glasses got the job done? Not to mention, they were very stylish to boot. Now that I think about it, Evelyn is smart enough to know that embarrassing her would bring me great joy, so if she ever was embarrassed she wouldn’t let me know about it. She probably ignored the fact that I was wearing them every day, but guess what? The joke’s on her. A week before they broke I was at a local waterslide park with Elliott and as I stepped onto “The Anaconda” the young lady lifeguard that held my tube and kept it from floating down the slide (Sidenote: I didn’t need help. I’m a grown ass man, but it’s her job. She’s required to hold tubes for people that are totally capable of holding their own tubes.) Anyway, she looked at me and asked, “Are those Cuesta Promise sunglasses?” I smiled. Said, “yes.” Then…down the slide I went. As I twisted and turned, water splashing my face, hair sparkling in the sun, I couldn’t help but be overjoyed that after months and months of wearing these damn things I finally got the recognition I had been looking for.

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