Posts Tagged ‘random shit’

The Cuesta Promise, Gone Wrong

This day was inevitable. It had been coming for months. I knew it was only a matter of time, but my Cuesta Promise sunglasses finally broke. The Cuesta Promise, if you are not in the know, is a scholarship program for SLO County high school grads. It’s a pretty sweet deal because Cuesta is giving these grads two years of free learning. It’s really quite amazing, but what’s even better is that I got a free pair of sunglasses out of the deal. It doesn’t quite show up in the photo, but the lenses are a reflective purple and the green lettering on the arm of the glasses says “The Cuesta Promise”. Sure, I might have “borrowed” them from Evelyn without asking, but they look (looked) better on me anyway. Also, if you saw the last post you are well aware of the bullshit I’ve put up with, so I think stealing her Cuesta Promise shades is totally justified.

Ok, here’s what happened. I won’t get into specific details, but here’s a quick breakdown.
– Evelyn visited Cuesta and they hooked her up with these sweet sunglasses.
– As cool as they are they were severely neglected. They sort of just floated around the house for a while. Months maybe?
– My $6 gas station sunglasses broke. Go figure.
– Running out the door one morning I saw the Cuesta Promise glasses and put them on because I had been going out without glasses on for about a week and my sensitive eyes couldn’t stand it any longer.
– I was now a 41 year old dude wearing glasses that were made to help promote 17 year olds attend college.

Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with it. If anything, it would embarrass Evy, which I saw as an extra bonus. Protect my eyes and embarrass my kid at the same time. Yes, please. Sign me up!

Sadly, I can’t recall if she ever was embarrassed, but I marched on. Also, I am not the type of guy to buy something I don’t need. Why waste money on new glasses when the Cuesta Promise glasses got the job done? Not to mention, they were very stylish to boot. Now that I think about it, Evelyn is smart enough to know that embarrassing her would bring me great joy, so if she ever was embarrassed she wouldn’t let me know about it. She probably ignored the fact that I was wearing them every day, but guess what? The joke’s on her. A week before they broke I was at a local waterslide park with Elliott and as I stepped onto “The Anaconda” the young lady lifeguard that held my tube and kept it from floating down the slide (Sidenote: I didn’t need help. I’m a grown ass man, but it’s her job. She’s required to hold tubes for people that are totally capable of holding their own tubes.) Anyway, she looked at me and asked, “Are those Cuesta Promise sunglasses?” I smiled. Said, “yes.” Then…down the slide I went. As I twisted and turned, water splashing my face, hair sparkling in the sun, I couldn’t help but be overjoyed that after months and months of wearing these damn things I finally got the recognition I had been looking for.

Headphones, A Funky Homo Sapien And Breaking The Law

This morning I noticed a guy driving alone while wearing headphones. Of course, I’ve seen this dozens of times, but today it triggered the “is that really necessary” response in my brain. I’ll be honest, I love headphones as much as the next guy. Probably not as much as Del The Funky Homosapien, who has not been seen in public not wearing headphones since 1981*.

The thing is, aren’t the car speakers good enough? Also, you are alone. There are literally no distractions to keep you from your music or podcast or whatever you are listening to. Not to mention the fact that it is illegal to drive with headphones on. As a quick little aside: isn’t it awesome to literally have access to knowledge at our fingertips…and then not use it? Case in point, I don’t know if it’s illegal to drive with headphones on and I refuse to dedicate any of my precious time to find out. I mean, all it would take is a quick search on google. Anyway, let’s just say it is illegal to prove my point. What is my point? I don’t even know, but all of this headphone talk is leading me down the path to memory lane.

It was probably 1996 when I bought my first real pair of headphones. At the time they were THE headphones and even now I believe they are highly sought after. I’m talking about the Sony MDR-V600’s.

They were pretty much standard issue to every DJ that ever touched a vinyl record. Dropping $109 on a set of headphones seemed quite frivolous. Remember, this is 1996 I’m talking about. Nowadays you have teenagers walking around wearing $400 Dr. Dre Beats connected to a $300+ iPhone, which is absolutely crazy.

If the late 80’s saw dudes getting mugged/killed for a pair of Air Jordan’s it’s a miracle we don’t find ourselves zig zagging through piles of teenage corpses while walking down any sidewalk in America.

Those Sony MDR-V600’s treated me well. $109 is not so bad considering they lasted 18 years. They travelled with me across the country and even as far as Paris. They were strapped to my head when I lost my virginity. Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be hilarious if I was all, “look lady, I NEED music while this is happening.” They were with me, hugging my ears ever so lovingly, during 100’s of painting sessions and let me experience music the way music should be experienced. Well, that could be argued. Music should be experienced live, but through headphones is a close second. Yes, some of the padding in the ears was fully exposed and falling out (my 4 year old is at fault for that), but the true demise of the headphones happened when I dropped my ipad and the plug broke off inside the headphone jack. Please, hang your head in a moment of silence.

Ok, this was not intended to be a farewell to the headphones that were with me for more than half my life. I just wanted to make a little comment about how silly and dangerous it is to drive alone wearing headphones. I mean, afterall, it is illegal for a reason. Oh yeah, I also wanted to make what I thought was a funny reference about Del The Funky Homosapien. All this other stuff just sort of happened.

Speaking of other stuff…
This blog (me) is now accepting donations. We’ll say it’s to keep this blog alive, but between you and me it’s because I want one of these.

Enjoy!
– Jeff

*Sadly, a google search for Del showed me that he actually has ventured out in public not wearing headphones. When I found out my heart broke a little bit.

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