I love going to the bookstore. It’s especially nice when I am lucky enough to find an empty seat. What’s not nice is these assholes that leave stacks of magazines and books on the floor. Seriously? Is it really that difficult to put things back where you got them from? I know, I know…the typical response is something like, “That’s what they have employees for.” That may be, but no matter what there is always work to be done in a bookstore. Lacking the decency to put things back in their rightful place is just rude. Sure, an employee knows “the area” they should belong in, but you know exactly where the items came from since you are the one that collected them and carried them proudly to a chair. Not to mention the fact that you chose a seat in a back corner upstairs and will have to walk through the whole bookstore when you leave. Walking back to where you got the books shouldn’t be that far out of your way. Did you even bother to think that while an employee is cleaning up after your lazy selfish ass they could be helping somebody, like me, find a book or they could be stocking new books for you to look at for free and leave in a big pile in the corner of the store.

This is at least six items left on the floor. Now, as much as I think it’s wrong to make extra work for the employees, imagine how this makes me look when I sit in this chair and an employee walks by and assumes I am the asshole. C’mon, buddy…that just ain’t right. Now what…am I supposed to pick up after you so that I don’t look like an asshole? Or do I do it because I’m a nice guy that wants to help out? Luckily, I rehearsed what to say in the event that an employee walks by and gives me the stink eye. “What…these?” as I point to the pile. “Oh no, they’re not mine. Do I even look like a surfer? You’re looking at a guy who wouldn’t step foot in the ocean if somebody paid him.” Anyway, I wouldn’t have any idea where to put this discarded pile of periodicals.

Thinking about it now I’ve come to realize something. Surfers are stoners, right? Well, whoever left these behind was so stoned they probably thought they were in a library, not a bookstore. And everybody knows it’s totally acceptable to leave piles of books scattered all over a library.