Posts Tagged ‘atascadero’

Hiking With Aliens

Took the kid on a hike and we found where the aliens left behind a chunk of metal from their jalopy of a spacecraft. The story going around town is that the aliens were too busy texting while flying and ran into a rogue asteroid in low earth orbit. Obviously, a piece of their wing fell off, fell through the sky like a giant metal dart impaling the top of a hill like a skewer in a martini olive.

We also discovered this tree that would be a perfect slingshot, Angry Birds style. We didn’t see any pigs around, so they must have ran off with all the eggs before we showed up.

On the way down we found a great shortcut and I totally beat Elliott to the bottom of the hill. Is it acceptable to take pride in beating a 9 year old in a race? You bet your sweet ass it is! If you had any idea how much this kid tortures me on a daily basis you’d be surprised I didn’t leave him on the hill to fend for himself in the wilderness. Let’s be honest though, if you know this hike you know referring to it as “wilderness” is quite a stretch. Anyway…all you need to remember is that I won.

Oh yeah, Elliott totally befriended/kidnapped this alien we met on the hill. Despite the alien’s initial hesitation to mingle with humans, they’ve since become inseparable besties.

Stay tuned for more shenanigans.

Thanks for reading!
– Jeff

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Did you miss the last post about Viva Paso temporarily closing? If so, read all about it.
Also, without a retail shop for you to visit it would be super awesome if you checked out the online shop. Thanks!
Oh yeah, on the real. We did not find and kidnap the alien. Do you honestly think I would let my son take a piece of a random public art sculpture? We brought that silly alien from home. We should have left it on the hill though because the squeaking it makes when you squeeze its belly is driving me insane. It’s one of those things where if you are the one doing the squeezing/squeaking it’s super fun, but as soon as somebody else is doing it you want to rip the thing out of their hands and feed it to the garbage disposal.

Amazing Factoids From James

Since James started high school he’s been bringing home a myriad of random tidbits and factoids that are both funny and worrisome. Here are a couple of my favorites.

There is a huge tree in the center of a small parking lot on campus where I pick James up after theater rehearsal. As we were pulling out of the lot somebody in the car made a comment like, “Why is that big tree there? They should totally cut it down.” I’m no hippie, but I responded with “I’m sure the tree was there before the parking lot was?” which was my way of saying the tree has more of a right to be there than the two parking spaces it’s blocking. This is where James came in with, “Well, did you know the school was built before the town.” I’m guessing that was his way of saying…well, I really have no idea, but I am pretty sure the high school was not the first thing the settlers built 100 years ago. And it probably wasn’t the first thing the Indians built 100 years before that.

The next one is also tree related. According to James it is illegal to cut or trim any tree in Atascadero.

The crown jewel of these tidbits is about Spain. So, the other night I am filling a cup with ice and Evelyn commented that I love ice. It’s totally true. I put ice in almost everything I drink. Then James said, “Did you know that in Spain they don’t give you ice at restaurants?”
Intrigued, Evy asked why.
“I guess it’s hard to make there.”

Yeah, that’s our James.

* Remember that time James microwaved ice?

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