How To Scare Away Family By Loving Them
My mom set up a Facebook group for our family because there are a lot of us and it’s way easier to post “Hey, it’s so-and-so’s birthday next week. Come by at 3.” as opposed to making a dozen or more phone calls to everybody. Well, we had one such event a couple of weekends ago, my grandmother’s 91st birthday. Yes, you heard that right. She is 91 years old. That means she was alive before the first TV remote control.
You might be thinking, “Send invitations, like in the olden days. If you don’t know what an invitation is just ask your grandmother about them.” To which I’d reply, no. The group isn’t just to announce parties. With this many people (16 adults and 8 children) somebody is bound to leave something behind, which is exactly why my mom’s most recent post was about a pair of forgotten sunglasses. And who sends invites to announce a lost pair of glasses? Exactly.
Oh yeah, for this to make sense, you have to know that we all call my grandmother “Nanny”, which I am almost certain was something she came up with to sound less old.
Grandma = Wrinkly Old Lady
Nanny = Scarlett Johansson
So, my mom posted something on our family group about finding a pair of sunglasses and also mentioned that Nanny had been to the doctor, which resulted in the following comments. Please take notice of the time when I joined in.
It’s been two days and Aaron still hasn’t responded. Aaron, if you’re out there…