Posts Tagged ‘iphone’

First World iPhone Problems

First off, carrying a phone in your pocket is such an incredibly ridiculous luxury that’s become so commonplace we totally forget how silly the concept is. To make a complaint about a luxury that is so removed from the list of things we need to survive is totally asinine. With that said, let me be a foolish baboon and complain about this iPhone situation.

I have an iPhone 4s. It’s great, but I was totally fine with my 4…until I dropped it. The iPhone 4 was my first smart phone and my mom gave me her old 4s when my phone shattered to bits. Thanks, mom! When the 6 came out I thought it was way too big for my liking and the 6 Plus made me laugh out loud when I finally saw one in person. I know a lot of people love their 6 Plus and that’s great. It’s just not for me and I’ll tell you why. I carry so much shit in my pockets that Coral and my sister are both convinced I should carry a man purse like Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover. So…

you can imagine my delight when I found out about the new 4″ iPhone SE. It’s like Apple read my mind, which is amazing. And here’s where my complaint comes in. I was looking at the specs and came across this list of included apps.

That’s a lot of apps and you can’t delete them, which makes me so mad. There are 33 of them. On a 4″ phone that would take up two whole home screens worth of stuff. I know you can put all the apps you don’t use in their own cozy little folder, but if I mentioned that it would totally invalidate my argument and why would I want to do that. I’m trying to make a point here! So, out of the 33 apps that you get whether you want them or not I know I would only use 19 of them, which is being generous because a couple of those I would only use because they are on there. I would never be all, “I NEED A VOICE MEMO APP!” Not to mention, I need a health and stocks app as much as I need a pickle growing out of my forehead.

The thing that really gets my goat about this BS is that these phones aren’t cheap and to be forced to deal with so many superfluous apps taking up valuable screen and storage space is, for lack of a better term, messed up. For a company who’s design philosophy includes the “what can we remove” concept it’s just mind boggling that they’d put so much crap on a product.

End rant. Thank you for listening and let’s hope I don’t suffer a fiery demise for wasting so much time on something that doesn’t matter.

Did you see that SNL skit about the iPhone design flaws?

Enjoy!

Painting An iPhone Case

It’s been a long time since I’ve painted a phone case and, in fact, thought my days of painting them were over. But no. Here is the latest hand painted phone case. You could say it’s part vlog, part how to. Either way, I hope you enjoy it. And if you’re interested in getting my artwork on your phone case please check out all the options at society6.com/jeffclaassen/cases.

Thanks!

Shattered iPhone And An Open Letter To The Dark Cloud

Well shit…

I have experienced way too much broken glass this year. For reals.

If things happen in threes, then consider this the bonus round.

Oh, you Dark Cloud that’s been hovering above me the past two months. I sincerely believe it’s time we part ways. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve kept life “interesting”, but if you’ll allow me to be totally frank, not necessarily the brand of interesting I need in my life. Sure, I’ve learned some things because of what you’ve put me through, but I’m done. It’s not me, it’s you.

Sayonara, you sonuvabitch!

– Jeff

You Don’t Belong Here Anyway: A Photo Series By Coral

If you are not yet following my lovely lady on Instagram I suggest you start.

Where we live happens to have a huge deer population and I don’t mean Goliath size dinosaur deer. I mean “huge” as in there are A LOT of them. A few of months ago Coral started deer hunting. With a camera, not a gun. And I’ve got to tell you, they are a bold and brazen bunch. So much so that we caught one on our porch late one night and I know you might be sarcastically thinking, “Big deal!” I’d think that to if the deer just strolled through our front lawn to get to our porch, but no no no. To get to our porch means you have to climb 21 steps and make your way past a baby gate. Now, if you’re thinking, “must be a pain in the ass when you have to carry groceries from the car or take the trash out,” you are exactly right. But I digress…

as I often do because…who knows? Anyway, as I was saying…

A few months ago we decided to take a leisurely drive through the neighborhood just to find some deer and on our first outing we caught a baby deer, no bigger than a foot tall, walking across the street about 60 seconds from our house. Don’t get me wrong, deer are total pests and have literally eaten enough of Coral’s plants that she’d need to apply for a loan to replace them. I’m talking a lot of plants here, people. However, seeing the baby deer walk across the street was incredibly adorable. And, in a way, so out of place. It sparked an idea for Coral and she started documenting the deer we find. Coral came up with the “You don’t belong here anyway” series based on the contrast/contradiction of seeing the deer (nature) mixing in with the neighborhood (civilization).

Coral is much more eloquent with words, so I’m giving her the floor here:

We discovered that the entire west side of town abutted a vast hill country. The result of which is wildlife intersecting with civilization. Deer, rabbits, mountain lions, wild boars, skunks… For better or worse, the line between nature and neighborhood is indistinct and very blurry here. And though the deer particularly have been a nightmare for me as a gardener, I can’t help but be in awe of them- impressed with their bold resilience, and a bit confused by it too. I’ll be forgoing fashion for a bit to post a series of photos documenting the deer throughout my neighborhood; it’s called You Don’t Belong Here Anyway. I hope these photos and their title encourage you to consider whether it’s the deer, or the suburban sprawl that remains out of place, and I hope you enjoy!

– Coral

I couldn’t have said it better.

If you can please picture us in Safari outfits cruising around Paso Robles in a 1976 Scout, it would be much appreciated.

It’s not Coral’s first color choice, but as the driver on these urban hunts I get to choose the color of our vehicle.

Be sure to follow Coral on Instagram: @slomygosh

Enjoy!
– Jeff

Last Day of Christmahanukwanza: $6 Off All Phone Cases

Super stoked on Society 6 for giving Holiday deals.

The phone cases are available in almost every model of iPhone as well as the iPod touch and the Samsung Galaxy S4. I currently have 46 designs available. That’s what I refer to as a gaggle of cases. Yes, a gaggle. Or oodles of cases. You pick.

Gaggles and oodles!

Oh, this deal is only good today and ends at midnight. Also, there is no coupon code to enter, just toss these in your shopping cart and the discount shows up during the checkout process.

Happy Holidays!

– Jeff

Signs I Liked At The Mid-State Fair In Paso Robles This Summer

Equipment used:
iphone 4, Hipstamatic, Snapseed

My Lady And My Baby

Some photos from the last few days.

my lady
Coral asked me to take some photos of her for her latest blog post. I really liked this one because the idea was that she would be covering her face with the book, but I got a little sneaky and took this in between “book closed” and “book open” shots. Also, she liked it enough to use it in her blog post, but our edits of the photo are totally different, which is fun to see.

my lady and my baby
Mom and son just strolling down the sidewalk.

my lady and my baby
That is not a monkey on her back. It’s a bear. Grrr!

my baby
Elliott eating an orange right off the tree. Hey, why not? I almost didn’t post this because I am very critical about feet being cut halfway off. It’s like, “Hey! Couldn’t you just tilt the camera down a teensy bit to get the toes in there?” Contrary to popular belief, I’m not Annie Leibovitz.

Thanks for looking!
– Jeff

A Couple Photos Of Places That Make Yummy Treats

I just realized that for two days in row I happened to take a photo of something having to do with baking. Yesterday, I was at the donut shop getting my Thai iced tea fix and took this.

name this place and get a prize. the prize is...you pat yourself on the back.

This morning I was at Batch and took this photo of their cookie depositing machine.

cookie depositing machine. behind the scenes at batch.

If I was more ambitious I could see turning this into some sort of series.

Happy Eating.
– Jeff

James And Evy Spinning Stop Motion

This is the second stop motion video I made using Frameographer for iPhone. Like the last one I posted, this is best thought of as a preliminary sketch for something greater.

My main goal was to get the kids interested in making their own stop motion movies. Since the process is tedious and time consuming and children have zero to little patience my theory was that if I put them in a movie and they thought the result was cool or funny then they would learn that all the effort was worth it when you see the final result. Lucky for me, it worked. James has become addicted to making stop motion movies. Evy has made some too. Not quite with the same enthusiasm as James, but it’s been awesome watching both of them get excited about being creative with the camera.

Eventually, I’ll get around to posting some of their movies on here.

Thanks for watching!
– Jeff

Just A Little Stop Motion

the tools for...

This was the first stop motion video I made back in September using the Frameographer app. I know it’s nothing special. I think of it as a preliminary sketch to a brilliant masterpiece.

Yeah, we’ll see what happens in the future with these stop motion thingies. I have a few more that I might be posting over the next couple of days.

Cutest Text Message Ever

Coral sends me cute texts.

@slomygosh sends me cute texts.

iPhoneography Contest Time

I’ve entered a couple of photos in the recent Hipstamtic contest. This time around it is sponsored by W Magazine and the theme is “transformation”.

The winner will shoot a story for wmagazine.com’s Street Style channel, as the W editors’ favorite entry.

10 runners up will win a limited edition copy of W The Forty Years book signed by W’s editors. Runners up will be determined as 5 entries with the most Facebook votes and 5 entries chosen by W editors.

Winning either of these would be super awesome. This is where I get down on my knees and beg for you to take time out of your busy schedule to vote for me. I’ve entered two photos and, of course, being a cocky artist (I’m not really, I swear), I think both of them have a good chance of winning. A quick glance at the Leaderboard tells you that the “transformation” theme has been loosely interpreted by most entrants. Also, a lot of people have not stuck the requirement of using the limited edition W Mag HipstaPak lens and film that is currently a free download from the Hipstamatic app.

Both of my entries happen to be photos of James who, coincidently, happens to be transforming right before our eyes. He just started seventh grade a few weeks ago and has taken to sagging his pants embarrassingly low and the shaggy hair jetting out from under his ball cap seems to have grown overnight like a weed in the garden.


“Young Chef In Training”
Ranked #38 at time of posting this blog.

To vote click on the photo or go to http://community.hipstamatic.com/submissions/235784. At the bottom of the page click the FB “Like” button. Once it posts to your FB page the vote is counted. Voting for this photo ends tomorrow (Sept. 19, 2012) so if you are going to vote please do so as soon as possible.

I think this photo couldn’t fit the “transformation” theme any better. It’s not often you see a twelve year old wearing a chef’s coat and working in a kitchen. What could be more transformative than putting on a uniform? It puts you in a different mindset and makes you feel much more professional. And I’ve got to tell you, James took himself much more seriously wearing the chef’s coat while helping out in the kitchen. I should mention that this photo wasn’t staged at all. This is the scene I walked in on when I entered the kitchen a few days ago. I simply told him to turn around from whatever task he was working on so I could snap a quick photo.


“Bubble Blowing On Sunday Afternoon”
Ranked #187 at time of posting this blog.

To vote click on the photo or go to http://community.hipstamatic.com/submissions/236272. At the bottom of the page click the FB “Like” button. Once it posts to your FB page the vote is counted. Voting for this photo ends in four days (Sept. 22, 2012). Of course, the sooner you vote the better.

I think this photo also fits the theme perfectly. A bubble is in a constant state of transformation. As is the sun in the background.

Thank you for indulging in my dream of winning a photo contest. It is much appreciated.

– Jeff

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